I'm a comic, actress, spinal cord injury survivor & wheelchair BAMF.
Short musings on myself and pop culture.
Beauty and fashion opinions. Rad stuff.
Here are a couple of comedy sets I did when I lived in Gainesville. I took a break this past year but I’m back and concentrating on web-based humor and building a web based following.
Boy… I sound like a douche bag…
💖 ya bambis!
If you’ve ever taken a disability sensitivity class, you have heard this: “Don’t lean or touch a wheelchair user’s wheelchair. That wheelchair is a part of their body.”
So I use a wheelchair to get around. I adore my wheelchair in the way that I love computer or my van. This whole “my chair is a part of my body” line of reason is strange. I’m not a robot.
Don’t lean on some stranger’s wheelchair. Why? Because it’s rude. It’s not your property.
If a stranger is leaning on my chair I’m not offended because I feel like they are touching me. I get irritated because they are touching my shit.
It’s the same feeling you get when you see some yokel leaning against your car. You think, “What the fuck, man…” & give him a dirty look and move on with your life.
Just because I’m in my chair for 12-14 hours a day doesn’t mean I have some hippie-dippie connection to it. With that same logic those of you who sleep in a bed for hours on end each night, do you feel that bed is a part of your body? You certainly spend enough time with it.
Telling able-bodied people that a wheelchair user views their mobility device as an extension of their body makes all wheelchair users seem crazy.
It’s all about not touching our shit, man.
It has been my childhood dream to speak just like Dolly Parton. Scientifically, she has the most adorable sounding voice and laugh of any human being ever.
It’s my dream to move somewhere new where nobody knows anything about me & reinvent myself. Well, reinvent my speaking voice.
Just imagine me— gosh I’m so adorable already. So little and plucky— always wearing cute little dresses. Sitting in my wheelchair.With my bangs. I have a pet cockatiel! I’m darling.
Now imagine you’ve never seen me before and I come into your town—your Starbucks and I order a Iced Soy Green Tea Latte in my new Dolly Parton voice! Wouldn’t you just die…! Wouldn’t you just fall in love with me? OK. Now imagine this: I’m also fluent in Spanish.
I have some studying to do to make this a 2014 year resolution.
Oh. And I’ll have to rename my cockatiel from Butters to Señor Beauregard.